The Reason
by Purplepanda2
Summary: Draco reflecting on all he has done wrong in his life and then how he is able to redeem himself in the end. (A song fic using The Reason by The Hoobastank.)


This is my first Harry Potter fanfiction, my first story with Draco and Hermione, and my first story-song fanfiction. I've always been a Hermione and Ron fan until this year but now I find myself falling into the Dramonie ship. I am open to criticism so feel free to review. (I'm a decent writer but I make mistakes so please point them out to me.) I hope you enjoy this story-song fanfiction.

I do not ow Harry Potter or any of its character.

I do not own The Hoobastank - The Reason

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The Reason:

Draco knew there was too much sin on his hands, too much for any god to ever have enough forgiveness to cleanse. All his life he had followed the ideals of his family doing everything he could to please his father, only to realize now how flawed those ideals were. Now whenever he stood looking into a mirror all he could see was a torn young boy, one who had committed too many crimes, made too many mistakes, and said too many mean things. But what could he do now?

There was so much he wished he didn't do, but it was too late to take back those actions. Too late to bring one back from the dead, too late to remove the mark branded on his left arm. It was too late to try and seek help, too late for him to seek forgiveness. Why had he been so cruel to his classmate, now he had no one to turn to, no one to save him from the hell he was in.

He had learned quickly to put aside his pureblood, death eater views. He learned to watch his tongue and to keep a low profile. He constantly had to remind himself that times had changed. The Malfoy name was no longer one to throw around with pride, but one to mutter under ones breath.

However, every time he walked down the street he saw the faces. The faces of classmates, of muggles, of half-bloods, of those who didn't trust him. Those he had hurt. How could he meet the eyes of those whose family members he had been a part of killing? Sure he never said the _Avada Kadavra_ but he hadn't stopped it. How could he walk passed those he had tormented during his years at Hogwarts? He regretted all those actions now, but there was nothing he could do to redeem himself. The past was the past, he had no time turner to alter it.

However this all changed on day while he was walking through Hogsmade. Draco didn't often go out, sending his house-elves out to get him what he needed. But he had too every now and then. Or he would go insane. Living in that empty mansion with no one to talk to. Nothing to see but the error of his family displayed at every corner, nothing to remember but the times of fear when Volemort lived there. He had to escape.

Draco was bustling down the street enjoying the cold winter air. He had a dark cloak wrapped around himself the hood pulled up to hide his platinum blond hair. He kept his head down, not wanting to attract attention, but wanting to enjoy some freedom. That's when he bumped into her, Hermione Granger.

She stared at him in shock and he in return stared at her. Neither moved not knowing what to do. Draco was waiting for the look of pain or anger to cross her face, waiting for the scorning voice, the yelling, and the blaming. But it never came. Instead a look of concern crossed her face. She reached forward with her hand and Draco found himself flinching back, unsure what she was doing. She paused and looked into his eyes searching them for something. Finally she whispered, "Draco?" Draco couldn't take it he quickly turned on the spot disaporating back to the manor.

How could he face her? How could she give him sympathy after all he had done? Why was she concerned about him? Why didn't she yell at him and blame him for the deaths, the deaths of Fred, of Lupin? Why had she tried to touch him? Draco was filled with questions pacing back and forth the manor, hardly eating. After the war Hermione had been able to bloom becoming the beautiful woman she had the potential to become. Without the stress of the war she was able to flourish and Draco had seen it every time he opened the Daily Prophet. Seeing her had only brought back the reality of his condemnation. How could he look at her, talk to her after all he had done to her? She was the one he had hurt the most throughout his time at Hogwarts. And yet she was the only one to not blame him or yell at his face. She was the only one to look concerned, about him. Draco couldn't help but pause his pacing. Did he have a chance? Could he redeem himself through Hermione? Was she his chance? Would she help him?

In the weeks that followed the encounter Malfoy found himself working hard to redeem the Malfoy name. He gave lots of money to charities, built orphanages, aided the Hogwarts repair project and gave all the knowledge he had on the Dark Lord to the Ministry. The Daily Prophet claimed it was to save his own skin, but he knew it was to save his own soul.

The next time he saw Hermione was at a banquet to honor the newly renovated Hogwarts. She was the most beautiful thing he had seen in what seemed like years, his life previously being full of darkness. She glowed wearing an emerald ball gown and Draco found himself watching her through out the evening, but never approaching her. She felt his eyes on her and often would turn to meet his eyes and he would hold her gaze for a little bit before quickly looking away. He wasn't ready yet. He wasn't good enough yet. But she didn't care. She came right up to him a shy smile on her face. He couldn't deny her even if he tried. She asked him how he was and thanked him many times for his efforts, but in fixing the school and fixing the wizarding world in general. Soon Draco found himself confessing things to her he never told anyone. How he had been scared throughout the war, of Voldemort, of his father, of losing his own life. He confided in her and she listened taking in all he had to say.

"I'm sorry," he said suddenly. It just stumbled out of his mouth. Hermione looked confused arching her bow. "For what?" She asked and Draco replied, "Everything." He apologized for all those years he tormented her and her friends. He apologized for not listening to Harry and seeking help, but rather believing he could handle it himself. He apologized for everything he could think of, even things he didn't do. At the end of it he was in tears muttering how he never thought he could ever be forgiven for all the sin he committed.

He admitted that he hurt every time he thought of those he had lost, those he had betrayed. Those whose deaths he had aided in committing haunted him. He was terrified to walk down the street, to open the paper, to leave the comfort of his own room. All that awaited him in the real world were reminders of all the sins he had committed, and nothing he did could erase them.

He continues to tell her how he has no clue how she can be so strong, so able to live on despite all the death that surrounds them. He tells her he wishes he were strong enough to deal with the pain. He jokes that it's probably because of all the tormenting he did to her at school, but he knows that in reality it's because he is weak, while she is strong and vibrant. The most beautiful being he has ever seen.

He tells her how he wishes he had a time turner, something to go back and redeem himself. Some way to go back and fix his mistakes, prevent deaths, save lives. But it is impossible; instead he must live with the guilt of what he has done for the rest of his life. He wishes he could go back and save Fred or tell his stupid self not to kill Dumbledoore but to seek help. To ask Snape for help, anyone.

Hermione smiles through it all reaching up and taking his face in both her hands, muttering sweet nothings to him, but it only makes him cry more. She tells him its okay to let it out, that she did the same crying for weeks. This causes Draco to cry even more telling her he wished he had never caused her that pain. Never made her cry and that he wished he had been there to comfort her. If not to wipe her tears then to be he punching bag, because he knew he deserved what ever she threw at him. Hermione chuckles and shakes her head, telling him he is wrong and that he has done no wrong. She tells him he is a good man and that the world will realize it sooner or later.

Draco tells her it is not so insisting he is a corrupt man, a sinful man. He is beyond hope, but he has decided to try anyway. To try and clean his hands of all the blood they have on them.

He tells her this wasn't something he decided on his own but rather something he felt compelled to do. He received hope he claimed and that this hope was what drove him to give all he had.

This hope caused him to turn over a new page, clean the slate. Become a better man, a man one could be proud of, one that the world would no longer scorn.

Draco leaned close to Hermione as he said this his voice becoming quieter and quieter until there was only a few centimeters separating their mouths. Draco looked into Hermione's eyes and told her. He told her how the hope he needed he ran into one cold winter day at Hogsmade. He told her…

"The reason is you." And closed the distance between them in a bittersweet kiss.

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I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I did writing it. Once again feel free to review with any errors you found or comments you have. Would very much like to get some feedback since this is not only my first Harry Potter fanfiction but also my first song fanfiction and first Dramonie. Thank you so much for reading!

~Purplepanda2


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